funny quotes

Funny Quotes To Make You Laugh Out Loud

Funny Quotes That Will Make You LOL!

whether it IS a PlaY on words, a FUNNY OBSERVATION ABOUT everyday things, or OLD witty sayings, COMEDY has a WAY of MAKING we realize we’re all going through the same stuff in this crazy life. These funny QUOTES all about work, love, FRIENDS, and family will have you speaking, “So TRUE!” because, well, THEY is. 

others will have you remembering hilarious, meme-worthy movie and tv momeents. take a much-needed break from your day to check out these some best funny quotes we found in stand-up comedy, books, plays, celebrity twitter and interviews, as well as movies and tv shows, guaranteed to give you a fast chuckle.

funny quotes

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”

Abraham Lincoln

“Here’s some advice: At a job interview, tell them you’re willing to give 110 percent. Unless the job is a statistician.”

Adam Gropman

“As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.”

Sir Norman Wisdom

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”

Alan Dundes

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”

Albert Einstein

“Here’s all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”

George Carlin

“Does it disturb anyone else that ‘The Los Angeles Angels’ baseball team translates directly to ‘The The Angels Angels’?”

Neil DeGrasse Tyson

“My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.”

Bobby Boucher (Adam Sandler), The Waterboy

“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”

Abraham Lincoln

“Marriage is like an unfunny, tense version of Everybody Loves Raymond, but it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.”

Pete (Paul Rudd), Knocked Up

Funny Quotes For with Pictures

funny quotes

“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.”

Albert Camus

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

Albert Einstein

“I’m not good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”

Chandler (Matthew Perry), Friends

“When I’m in social situations, I always hold onto my glass. It makes me feel comfortable and secure and I don’t have to shake hands.”

Larry (Larry David), Curb Your Enthusiasm

“All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.”

Alexander Woollcott

“There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: babe, district attorney and Driving Miss Daisy.”

Elise (Goldie Hawn), The First Wives Club

“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”

Andy Rooney

“I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.”

Jimmy Kimmel

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